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sweet_mom_2
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Name: Jessica
Birthday: 5/29/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: My kids are pretty much all I have time for. I have a 4 1/2 year old, 2 1/2 year old and a 4 month old. I am also due for another baby in April. My kids are my world.
Expertise: My expertise is of course nothing, but I am really good at talking to people and letting them know my opinion. I am a VERY open person and love to talk to anyone who has an opinion about something. I am also a very skilled mom. I started when I was 15. Guess I have a couple years under my belt.
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
MSN: sweet_mom_2@hotmail.com
Yahoo:  sweet_mommy_4@yahoo.com
Member Since:
8/17/2005
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| Ok.. so now where do I start... me and Matt aren't together... haven't been for about 4 months now. He hasn't lived here either. So... Matt and Eric were both in jail and now Eric is out. He has been staying here helping me pack and whatnot. I am moving into a 4 bedroom house in the next couple weeks.. YES!!! I had my last baby... Brooke. She was born on April 12th.. weighed 7 lbs. 8 ozs. and was 18 1/2 inches long. So that was cool. Lets see.. what else.. oh... Teagan was diagnosed with PDD-NOS which is a high functioning form of autism, obsessive complulsive behaviors, and ODD which is oppositional defiant disroder.. basically does everything possible to piss me off!!! It also is associated with his rage and anger problems. He also has an anxiety problem. So they are putting him on zoloft to try to calm him down. Hopefully it works. Me and Matt ended up having a domestic violence issue back in October... he ended up smacking me really hard 2 times in the temple. I had headaches for a month and half straight. But now I am better. Anyway.. Maddison lost her first tooth 3 days ago and Hayley had her first birthday May 11th. So there has been a lot going on. Me taking care of these kids by myself. YAY for me!! I have lost 13 more pounds since I had my last baby. So I have lost a total of 63 pounds since me and Eric split up. Anyway I guess I will go.. nobody seems to ever read this anyway... if you do and you want to get ahold of me.. my email address is sweet_mom_2@hotmail.com | | |
| Matt called me on his break last night and let me know that he wasn't going to move. This made me so happy I started to cry. I was really excited. I still don't really understand what was going on in his head but I know that obviously I won. I asked him why he had decided to stay at home and he said that he realized that his family and his love for me were more important. That made me feel really good also. It bothers me that he had me go through this much hurt and pain just to decide that he was going to stay home. I can't really say much cuz when we first got together I made him wait quite a bit for me to decide if I wanted to be with him or with Eric. So I guess you get what you give right? Also we have been told that we can't have sex until we find out if the previa has cleared up... I get my ultrasound on the 22nd to find out... and so it has been a strain on our relationship. I am scared though if we find out that it hasn't cleared up and we aren't able to have sex until I deliver the baby then I'm afraid that he will cheat on me. I don't think he would but I know that's a long time to go without sex and especially for a man of his age!!! So I am worried that he will cheat to get it. Anyway I gotta go cuz Hayley wants me and she is screaming.... so I will write later. Cya | | |
| Ok so yesterday I was a little upset/angry about Matt leaving and I was needing to vent. Apparently this upset Matt and he left a pretty interesting comment under my sisters name. Well, I don't really know what to say about all this. I am hurt that he wants to leave me... who wouldn't be? I am hurt that he wants to leave the kids...I'm sure they are to. It's like I'm stripped of all emotions except sadness. When I hear one of our songs or a song that he dedicated to me I want to cry... and usually I do. I know it has only been a couple days since he told me he was moving out and that this feeling will eventually go away but in the meantime I am.... well sad, heart-broken, betrayed, hurt, confused, and I'm sure the list could continue to go on. And yes he is right in the comment the I was told that I have full to partial placenta previa but that it could clear up on its own but the doctor and nurses aren't very optopmistic of it doing that... especially since I have already started bleeding once. It did stop but they aren't looking for it to clear up. I will be having an ultrasound in about a week... I go to the doctor today to schedule the ultrasound... and then they will be able to find out then if I still have it. If so that means I get a c-section at 37 weeks. YAY for me!!! NOT!!! Matt wanted me to change some things on here from my last time I wrote on here. I won't change it but I will retype how I am feeling now that I am a lot calmer. Yesterday I was pretty devestated cuz it hit me pretty hard yesterday that the last year and a half was for nothing... I can't say that... I learned a lot, I lost a lot, I gained a lot, I had fun... a lot of fun, I was hurt, I was able to have some GREAT sex... lol... I also had 2 more kids that I get to raise without the dad living in the home. This relationship has definetely been the most trying one that I have been in. I guess that means that I learned the most out of this relationship than any of them. I hope that the next person I am with will be a lot like Matt in the sense that we did get along really good.. unless we were mad. Me and Matt's personalities just "clicked" from day one. And so did his eyes on my ass!!! LOL... I am sad that I am losing not only a boyfriend but also a good friend that I shared my most intimate secrets with and probably the best laughs I have had in a long time. He was my best friend and he doesn't understand why it is going to be impossible for me to be his friend anymore. I just can't do that. I will hurt every day that I see him, knowing that he is out there with other girls and having fun with other girls... THATS MY SPOT DAMNIT!!! I am supposed to be the one he is out with having the fun, I'm supposed to be the one that he comes home to, I am supposed to be the one that he is happy with, I am supposed to be the one that he wants to be with and I am the one who should be with him!!! Not some other random girl who doesn't know jack shit about him or his kids or anything else!! No other girl needs to know anything about him or my kids!!! That once again is my spot!!! Ok.. so we have now exhibited the anger part yesterday and now I am exhibiting the jealousy and wanting of the relationship... we will see what is next. I sure in hell know that it won't be the getting over him part.. that will take a while. And in his comment he says that he can't believe he actually thought about staying... I don't really know what to think about this except be even more confused. I don't know whether to believe him when he says that or just to think that he is playing with my head and wanting me to believe that so that I feel like even more of a fuck up... I don't know what to think about all this shit goin on... I know it hurts and I understand that. I gotta go... Cya. | | |
| Well, Matt is moving out on Saturday for good. He thinks this will be best for "us" and it's time to move on with our lives and time to start our search for other people. Keep in mind this is his decision not mine. Even though I have placenta previa and need help with the kids because the doctor has already told me that I need to be careful as to what I do and whatnot... he is leaving. He is moving in with his friend. He also says this will be easier for him and his probation. How nice huh? Easier for him so that he can have an easier skate through life while I struggle my ass off!! Isn't that nice? Coincidentally he just talked to his Aunt Nancy who hates me with a passion and she told him that he needs to put his probation before everything... including his kids. You know what he told me last night? His probation is more important and comes before his kids!! How pathetic is that? My kids are the number one thing in my life and that's the way it should be!!! I understand that if he doesn't do good on his probation then he will go to jail but that doesn't mean that his probation should come first!!! He told me to call him whenever I need something for Hayley or Dacey... I don't think so!! I will survive on my own. I will be the strong person that I once was and fend for myself... that's pretty much what he is forcing me to do anyway. He tells me I am retarded for this because that is his way of child support. Well, I guess he will figure it out when I don't call. I don't care what he thinks about me anyway. He obviously thinks all of himself and how his life will be easier and whatnot. Anyway.. I just needed to vent to someone/something!! C-ya. | | |
| Interesting title huh? Well, me and my mom got into a fight the other day and to make a long story really short she tried to slap me and I told her to get out of my house. She has no right to come into my place and try to hit me because she doesn't like what I am saying. I don't go into her house and try to hit her. Then Matt is going through Court once again. And because of his stupid friend who he got into trouble with before, his friend has been breaking into cars and tried to say that he was with my bf while it was happening so now Matt has to go in and get questioned by the cops. Like we need anymore problems going on with the cops. Me and Matt have been getting along pretty good lately. He asked me to marry him the other day and I said yes. I think that was a mistake now because of the way he has been treating me and talking to me lately. The other day he told me I needed to shutup. Then this morning he asked the kids what they wanted for breakfast and they both said poptarts. Maddison said she wanted chocolate and Teagan just flat out said poptart so Matt was going to give him cherry. Well then he decides that he is going to give Maddison one cherry and one chocolate and the same with Teagan. Maddison already said she didn't want cherry. So what's the point in giving her some food that she isn't going to eat and then yelling at her because she won't eat it? I didn't see the point in that. So I told him that and he like blows up and tells me that I can start doing everything with the kids because no matter what he says I always over-ride it and he has no say-so. All because he was going to give Maddison a poptart she didn't want and I told him not to. I don't see why this makes it ok to blow up on me and tell me I need to do everything with the kids!!! If he wants to talk to me and treat me like that he can find someone else to treat like that!!! Then to make things even better, I went to my OBGYN and had my doctor appointment and they informed me that I have partial to full placenta previa. This is really great... not really. So now I have to have another ultrasound in like 5-6 weeks. Then we will have to go from there as to what happens from there. Hopefully it has gone away by then because otherwise it is probably going to be a long road till the end of my pregnancy. Not something I am looking forward to. So the last week or so has been pretty shitty. Teagan is now 3 because his birthday was on Wednesday. That is the day that me and my mom got into that fight. Matt has also been pretty short with the kids lately. Not like spanking them or anything but his answers have been pretty short to them when they ask a question and he has been pretty irritated with them lately. I don't know what has gotten into him but I tell ya what I don't like the person he is becoming. This is not the type of person I want to be with at all. And certainly not the type of person I want to marry!!! | | |
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